Assisted suicide: Why isn't there a law against humans being stupid?

There is absolutely no law against people being stupid. If you are in any doubt of this fact, a brief look at some of todays news stories should be enough to convince you. Example 1: A Muslim televangelist said that men who masturbate will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife Not only is this man very stupid, but so are the 12,500 people who follow him on Twitter in order to hear his pearls (ahem) of wisdom. Video LoadingVideo UnavailableClick to playTap to p

layThe video will start in8CancelPlay now Still no word on what happens to women who masturbate, but hopefully it involves laughing at the men with gravid hands. Example 2: Thousands of youngsters believe theres a sombrero-wearing demon called Charlie who can answer any question by moving a pencil Not only are these children too dumb to wonder why hes not called Carlito, or why he has the time and inclination to occasionally wave pencils around, but they think that after an eternity drinking tequila and torturing lost souls in the netherworld hell be an expert on Justin Biebers marital choices. Video LoadingVideo UnavailableClick to

playTap to playThe video will start in8CancelPlay now Example 3: In a nation where 6,233 people killed themselves in messy, desperate, painful ways in the past year, the one that causes shock is a man who did it best Dad of three Jeffrey Spector, 54, of Lytham St Annes, had an inoperable tumour at the top of his spine which would slowly ruin his 096一2020老版跑狗图 life before it killed him. Rather than endure quadriplegia, pain, and relying on others to feed and bathe him while the cancer

took every last bit of joy from his life, Jeffrey had a long think. For five years. Then he had a last meal with his loved ones, who had begged him not to go so early, and took a fatal overdose of barbiturates that caused him to fall unconscious and die. Jeffrey with his friends and family for his last meal before going to the Dignitas clinic in Zurich (Image: Warren Smith) Its not for everyone, and the last thing anyone would want is for anyone else to feel pressured to do the same. Some people can and do live with paralysis - but Jeffrey felt he couldnt. It was his decision, and he was in the best position to know whether it was right or wrong. Since news of his death broke he has been criticised by people who think he wasnt terminally ill (he was), that his quality of life hadnt worsened (it had, hed already started losing feeling in his fingers and you try getting through a day without them), and that suicide is a sin. Yes, its a sin. And so is cutting your hair and refusing to marry your brothers widow. Sins are nothing more than social rules from a time when that sort of thing mattered. As society has changed, weve dropped a lot of them on the basis that we dont need them and most are stone-cold crazy. Why not covet your neighbours ass, if hes got a great ass? Now thats a nice ass (Image: Apex) And before the church came along, humans were fine with suicide. If somebody wanted to take themselves off and end it

- wander into the mountains without water and let the vultures

pick the bones clean - it was entirely acceptable. You went to meet your gods on your own terms, and in those days gods respected your cojones. Then organised religion came along and wanted everyone to abide by a set of arbitrary rules to win approval of an invisible being who was a lot less fun than the old gods a

nd suddenly suicide was a sin - an immoral act against divine law. Ill tell you whats a sin, shall I? Its a sin to treat a loved one worse than youd treat a tree. Its a sin to remove the one thing every human tribe has fought to keep hold of - the right to choose your own destiny. And its a sin to tell someone that a painless, quick, and dignified manner of death is forbidden and that if they want to die dozens of people will have to really suffer . Jeffrey with his wife Elaine and three daughters (Image: Facebook) Because consider Jeffreys options, had those barbiturates not been available. 1. Death by train - Ive seen this, and it leads to about three miles of countryside being splattered by tiny fat goblets. After youve been vaporised, your family have almost nothing to give a funeral to, the train driver needs counselling, and thousands of train passengers are in a bad mood. 2. Death by pills - A painfully hit-and-miss affair, and something more likely to send you to intensive care with permanent liver damage and kill you slowly. There are warnings about children in Scotland daring each other to overdose on paracetamol for a laugh, which is very stupid because the only reason to do it is if you really like agony and the colour yellow. 3. Death by hanging - Some poor sods got to find you and cut you down, if you get the knot wrong youll die of thirst, and youll probably piss yourself. Dignified it aint. 4. Death by gun - If you can get hold of one, and manage to actua

lly die on the firs

t shot rather than just blow a piece of your head off and have to live with the consequences, the mess doesnt bear thinking about. Jeffrey Spector and wife Elaine (Image: Facebook) In fact any method of DIY suicide is a nightmare. Not only might it not work, but you have to decide whether your partner or your children will find you, or if youre going to give that pleasure to a stranger on a dog walk. On top of it all, therell be some pillock somewhere saying that suicide is selfish and another whod be horrified if you were buried on holy ground. What sort of god tells people in pain that they must endure more before theyll win his approval? What sort of human decides it makes them more holy to be less humane? No sort of god or human Id want to spend any amount of time with, thats for sure. Id rather be with Charlie in the eighth circle of hell answering questions about One Direction and doing GCSE maths homework. We all know its wrong to let animals suffer, which is why anyone who hears about the female matador who cut a bulls ears off doesnt mind in the least that the bull almost gored her to death afterwards. This picture is more acceptable than the one of her holding the ears up and grinning (Image: AFP/Getty Images) We all know that hands cant get pregnant and theres no such thing as demons, and that if either of those things were true thered be a lot of very desperate ghosts trying to get in touch and tell us to stop it. And we all know this life is the one worth worrying about - living and dying it as well as you can. Jeffrey Spector did exactly that. He was a fit and healthy man with a good marriage, successful career and three healthy children, and when cancer struck him at random he joined Dignitas and spent five years thinking about whether hed ever get to the point where hed use it. It seems to me that the greatest sin of all is to be alive in 2015, at a time when we have more choice about what to do with our lives than at any point since the universe began, and tell someone whos suffering that they ought to carry on doing so. Jeffrey Spector, before he died (Image: Warren Smith) Because, to the tribes who were here before organised religion, we are the gods. We can fly. We can do magic on things called computers. We can commune with people al

l over the world in a heartbeat. We can save lives, reattach limbs, see microbes and travel to the stars. We know how babies are made, what cancer will do, how useful bees are. We can kill one another at the flick of a switch and yet, when someone near the end of their life decides theyd like it to arrive a little sooner, we tell them they cant have the switch. If those ancient tribes could see us, theyd think we had become just like our one, authoritarian, Abrahamic god - a right bastard. I wonder if wed do better, if there was a law against being this stupid. * If you feel in need of support contact the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90

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